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At times, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his grandiose moments frequently escalate into “highly unrealistic”, he admits. You feel invincible and you’re like, ‘People will see that I stand above others … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

In his case, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are usually coming after a “sudden low”, during which he feels deeply emotional and self-conscious about his actions, rendering him particularly vulnerable to criticism from others. He began to think he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after researching his symptoms online – and eventually diagnosed by a professional. Yet, he questions he would have taken the label without having previously arrived at that conclusion personally. “If you try to tell somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – most notably if they experience feelings of superiority. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve constructed. And in that mindset, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding NPD

Although people have been identified with narcissism for decades, it’s not always clear what is meant by the term. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” explains an expert in narcissism, who believes the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he believes many people hide it, due to widespread prejudice linked to the disorder. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “impaired compassion”, and “a strategy of using people to bolster one’s self-esteem through things like displaying material goods,” the specialist clarifies. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Gender Differences in The Disorder

Though up to 75% of people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are males, research indicates this statistic does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that women with NPD is typically appears in the covert form, which is less commonly diagnosed. Male narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, just kind of like everything in society,” explains an individual who shares content on her co-occurring conditions on social media. Frequently, the two disorders co-occur.

Personal Struggles

“I really struggle with dealing with feedback and rejection,” she explains, “because if I hear that I am at fault, I either go into defence mode or I withdraw entirely.” Although experiencing this reaction – which is often called “ego wounding”, she has been trying to overcome it and accept input from her support system, as she strives not to return into the negative conduct of her past. My past relationships were toxic to my partners as a teenager,” she admits. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she says she and her partner “have a dynamic where I told him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, when I use toxic language, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mostly in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have supportive figures as a child. I’ve had to teach myself over the years which behaviors are suitable or harmful to say during a fight because I never had that growing up,” she says. Every insult was fair game when my family members were belittling me when I was growing up.”

Root Causes of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be associated with childhood challenges. Genetics play a role,” notes a mental health specialist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “tied to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to cope in formative years”, he adds, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was based on meeting certain expectations. They then “continue to use those same mechanisms as adults”.

Similar to other of the those diagnosed, one individual thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The adult shares when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve academic success and professional advancement, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “acceptable.

As he grew older, none of his relationships lasted. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he says. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He didn’t think experiencing genuine affection, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, like him, finds it hard to manage mood stability. She is “very supportive of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he says – it was in fact, her who first suspected he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Following an appointment to his doctor, John was referred to a mental health professional for an evaluation and was informed of his condition. He has been recommended for talking therapy via government-funded care (ongoing counseling is the only treatment that has been proven effective NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the patient queue for 18 months: It was indicated it is likely to occur early next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a few individuals about his NPD diagnosis, because “there’s a big stigma that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, personally, he has embraced the diagnosis. The awareness assists me to gain insight into my behavior, which is always a good thing,” he comments. Each individual have accepted their narcissism and are looking for support for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the condition. But the existence of online advocates and the expansion of virtual networks indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number